08/01 Dubai Day 6: Performance Day

The good thing is, our quarrel last night didn’t affect Elsa’s mood for the performance. she woke up early as planned and we went for a quick breakfast before she join up with the rest of her dance instructors colleagues and head over to the Dubai opera house before 6am in the morning.

I have reached the venue by myself in the afternoon, because I am not a performer so I can only wait for the actual event to start before I can go in. So I just wandered around alone around the venue, admiring the beautiful people, scenery and buildings

Em Yeu, I’m not sure whether you know, actually I love looking at architectural buildings. I majored in Architecture, but have to drop out of school halfway due to my mother’s accident, then went back to attain my diploma in Interior Design. Building construction has always been my passion…

But I’m not sure how much you actually know about me… I have always asked and listened to you about your childhood, your life in both Vietnam and Singapore, your friends and family etc. Because I love you. Because I want to know you. Because I want to be a part of your life…

A sudden sense of loneliness came over me when I realized you have told me a lot about yourself, but I have not told you much about myself…

I always thought it is because you simply have too many things on your mind. But now, maybe what Elsa told me is right – what you fall in love with, was not Lester whom has experienced the whole 38 years of life, but only the Lester whom have treated you well over the past few months…

Have you seen how I looked like when I was a child…? Do you know who are my best friends are…? Have you asked me about my time in school…? Do you know anything about my past, especially my worst times…?

I am not the type to brag about how good I am, like how your Kor Kor can do. I am not the type to talk about my past as I also have my fair share of painful memories. I am not the type to tell you easily how I feel, until it became too much to hold back my anger or tears…

Em Yeu, if one day you read this blog, if one day you realized you have misunderstood me deeply, would you finally want to know me better…?

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not blaming you for not wanting to know me better and talked about yourself most of the time. I loved hearing about your stories cause I really want to understand you, to know your likes and dislikes, your feelings towards everything… I really wanted to be part of your life, especially the first half of your life that I have already missed as we have not met yet…

I just thought that, maybe if you knew me better, maybe if you knew what I have been through in my life, you would know that actually I am not that bad of a person you misunderstood me to be…

I sighed as I light my cigarette in the middle of the beautiful park surrounded by happy people with their families, friends or colleagues…

I really miss you…

*****

I make my way back to the opera house as it is almost time.

Sorrie Em Yeu, now is Elsa’s special night and she has worked so hard for the past few months just to perform on stage tonight.

Please let me think of you a little bit lesser for the next few hours so that I can give more of my focus and attention on her a bit more tonight.

Cause this would most probably be the last performance I’ll ever watch her perform on stage as her husband…

I’ll see you in my heart and mind again tomorrow 😘