I Will Help You Move On…
The 1st thing I did this morning, is to message Kelvin on what are the penalties I need to pay if I terminate the debt collection
If I stop forcing that bastard to play me back, you would have more chance to take your money back. I have already forced him to go back to work, so that is more than enough to lower the risk of him asking or scamming more money from you in future…
I never engaged a debt collector for the money anyway. If giving up 16k can give you a Kor Kor you can continue to trust and believe in, can stop ah ji from ever mentioning my name in front of you again, it’s more than enough reason for me to give it up.
As long as it can keep me out of your life, let you move on and stay happy, I’m more than willing to give up anything…
That is the only thing I can do for you now… is to stay out of your life completely. Although I’m not sure how much that will help, but I’m sure it would be better than Ah Ji telling you how much I chasing after him every time you meet him for lunch from now on…
I cried myself to sleep last night. It has been such a long time since I felt so sad and depressed, like the night of the video call, like the day I heard you have patch up with Kenny and happily moved back to Cck, like the night you want me to get out of your life…
Yes, what you need now is not the truth. What you need now is not our revenge towards that bastard Kor Kor. What you need is not the penniless me full of debts, but a peaceful life with your husband, your children and a ‘good’ Kor Kor…
And for you to have a peaceful life and to move on from our memories, is for me to continue staying as the asshole whom has lied to you, whom has did wrong to you, whom has hurt you more than Kenny and Ah Ji ever did…
As long as you stay happier now compared to when I’m beside you, nothing else matters anymore…
*****
When I came to work and saw yifa, I also told him to stop talking about me in front of Ah Ji anymore. I told him to just focus on asking for his money back.
When Allan came to work, I can see that he is trying to talk to me about what I told him last night about not telling you the truth anymore and terminating the debt collection.
But as today is sunday, orders are busy and I have not been able to talk to him much as we kept going in and out collecting our own orders and send without seeing each other much.
So for the rest of the day, I just kept on thinking by myself what is better for you- the truth or helping you to move on…
Even if you know the truth, you have already moved back to Cck. The children are already staying together. You have already gotten your house. Things seems to be looking good for you, and I really don’t want to open up your old wounds again….
The fear of you feeling sad or getting hurt again… is so much more than my anger and hate towards Ah Ji for lying to us and make us hate each other…
I’m more than willing to take in all the hate from you, if it can help you stay happy with Kenny now, and have a Kor Kor you think you can believe in and trust…
Besides, I am the one who lost everything. What right do I have to drag you down with me and may make you lose what you have right now?
Why don’t I just do what I always do for your sake? Just suffer in silence by myself and let you get your happiness…
Till now you have not asked anyone about me or how am I doing… Till now you have cut off everyone which showed that they told me things… till now the only thing I can understand from your actions, is how much you hate me…
You have even changed your Facebook profile picture to the same one as Kenny’s now. Does this mean he has been treating you well? So much that you want to show to the rest of the world how happy you are at this moment?
Of course, mixed feelings filled my heart… on one hand, I am really jealous and sad that I’m not the one who is making you happy now… on the other hand, I felt relieved and glad that you are doing well now…
No matter how much I think about it, not telling you the truth, not letting you know I am keeping my promise to you, not letting you know how much I love and missed you seems to be better for you…
Damn, I lost my appetite to eat again…