March 2023 – End of My Marriage?
Had a talk with Elsa regarding our divorce again last night. As per our last agreement back in Dec, I would only stay till Feb or March while she get herself mentally prepared for my departure..
Of course, she still wants me to stay on. But on the same condition – I have to promise her that I’ll throw you away from now on
My reply to her, is still “No. I can’t do it. I have already made a promise to duong, and I’m not going to break it”
Even if you are going to move on with life without me, even if you hated me so much cause you have misunderstood me, even if the whole world call me an idiot for holding onto my promise to someone who have already threw me away…
But I have not lied to you about anything since day 1. I have always tried my best to keep my promises that I have made to you. And this is the biggest promise I’ve made to you that I have to keep for life…
Even if it means losing everything else I have. My marriage, my family, my career, my reputation, my life, everything…
Disappointed, Elsa asked me again “So are you going to be with her?”
I replied her “No, she has already gone back to her ex husband’s side. And the children are all now staying together. I’m not going to ask her to come back to me and disrupt her life now..”
Then she just said, “Then why are you doing this? Why are you hurting yourself and make your own life so miserable?!?”
I can only reply her, “I have already lost all rights as your husband. You don’t deserve a scumbag like me. You deserve a man who can give you the stable life and stay faithful to you… and I’m no longer a man who can give you these…”
Yes, it is my punishment. I don’t deserve any happiness or forgiveness anymore. After I have hurt Elsa so much. After I have hurt you so much, Em Yeu…
Even if I were to die alone, I’ll spend the rest of my life to atone for the suffering I made both of you went thru…
This promise, that no matter what happens we’ll never throw each other away, is the last proof of my love for you…
As for Elsa, all I can do for her, is not lie to her anymore and make it up to her for the rest of her life, the best I can do without breaking my promise to you…
