22/05 A Day I Miss Em Yeu again

It’s a gloomy day today…

As I still have not heard anything from Grab regarding my account suspension, my original plans to run orders today is down the drain

The only consolation I have gotten, is it was raining almost the whole day today

As I stare at the pouring rain from my windows, I can’t help but to think of you again

Is my Em Yeu working today…? Are you wet and cold from the rain? or you are safe and dry at home with the children…?

I certainly hoped you and the children are safe indoors at home

While thinking of you, I also felt sorry for myself for being an idiot again. Ever since my account gotten suspended yesterday, I have not heard from Rafael at all as he no longer need my face to verify log in, or asked me to cash out to him

He didn’t even message me to ask whether Grab has gotten back to me regarding my account suspension

Suddenly felt like an idiot. Once again make a loss for helping a friend and he doesn’t seems to care what I have lost

Haiz… when am I going to learn how to be more selfish and stop helping people out of goodwill. I have lost enough due to my kindness and to put it more bluntly, my stupidity and naivety

And the most important thing that I lost, is not my grab account or money.

It’s you, Em Yeu…

It has been more than a year since I’ve lost you and the children, but the sadness and hurt still felt as though I have only lost you yesterday

And it’s all because I trusted and helped that asshole

How much I wish I can turn back time, and be selfish to everyone else other than towards you and the children

In that way, that asshole won’t have the chance to make use of both of us, and lied to us to make us turn against each other.

And hurt each other…

Em Yeu, you and the children are still in my heart, even till this day.

And that will never change, even if you have already long forgotten me…

I love you Em Yeu, and I still miss you so much…