It is Jayden’s Bdae Today
It is Jayden’s Bdae today…
Despite my busy week of work, his Bdae today has always been at the back of my mind.
Kept wondering how are you and the kids celebrate his Bdae today…
Ever since your listing was gone from property guru, it felt like the only link to you and the children has been broken again
The only thing I can console myself is, as long as I still keep you and the children in my heart, nothing else is more important than that
And that is what I’m going to do for the rest of my life…
*****
It’s 10.45pm. Here I am, opposite your window again…
Seems like you and the children are home tonight, as I can see lights in your living and children’s room..
Just thinking you are just opposite me… so near me now… made me miss you so much so much again…
How much I wish I can just stay here, and watch over your window day and night…
Just the thought that by now you would have long forgotten me… forgotten all the memories we shared together… memories which I still held so dearly in my own heart… saddens me so much…
But it’s okie… it is not your fault that you have misunderstood me so deeply… it is not your fault that I’m keeping our promises by myself…
It is my own choice, to continue to love you on my own…
With tears in my eyes, I lit the candle… and sing to myself softly:
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to Jayden~
Happy Birthday to you…
Sorrie I left Jayden’s present at home today. It is a remote control car which I already bought it and showed you 2 months ago, not sure whether Jayden will like it anot
I don’t even know whether I will ever have a chance to see you guys again…
I miss you guys so much….
*****
My last stop, is always our bus stop.
The place where we always have our last smoke, our last hug and our last kiss goodbye before you go back to the bird cage…
And like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, my birthday and linlin’s birthday, I have always left the cake on the bench where we once sat together…
Perhaps, somewhere deep in my heart I’m still have the small hope that I still meant something in your heart… and this is the only way I can leave a hint that I have always been here for you and the children…
Although at the same time I also prayed, that you will never have to think of me again… cause that would mean that you and the children are truly happy now, with a complete family you can call your own…
Take care Em Yeu… See you again on your birthday…