Not working today
Received a depressing message early in the morning today:
His words reminded me so much of you. You also once said you want to jump down during one of our quarrels…
It actually pains my heart so much when I hear you say that kind of words
But what should I do now? Because of his lawyer screw up, he now doesn’t have a place to sleep, no money to eat and can’t work both panda nor grab…
And my final loan repayment is this coming Sunday. Because I have lent money to Ah Guan last week again, and it seems like he is not going to keep his word again
This means I may not have enough for my repayment this Sunday
But here, mingyi is totally depressed due to his recent issues and situation…
Em Yeu, what should I do… what can I help without affecting my loan repayment this Sunday…?
Haiz
In the end, I gave in to my soft-heartedness:
And just like that, I pass mingyi my bike and account so that he can work and keep himself busy from stupid thoughts today
I even told Allan and Yong jie to scold some sense into him today when they see him
Well, maybe I just take it as a rest day today… Have been working non-stop since Elsa’s birthday.
*****
I dozed off easily in the afternoon. It must be due to the lack of sleep because I have started running night orders recently again…
But I was shaken up from a nightmare. One that felt so read. One that made me burst out in tears…
I was at genting highlands shopping area, the one that we spent some private time walking around without the kids. And we sat down on a table preparing to eat.
And suddenly Ah Ji and Ah Long walked over to us, and you told me to wait here, while you walk away together with Ah Ji, leaving Ah Long behind with me
As I watched Ah Ji and you walked away further and further, Ah Long turned to me and gave me a sly smile, before he asked me:
“Eh Lester, do you know how stupid you are?”
“Why do you think we appear here at Genting also? All along Duong is together with us. Even that night at 229 pavilion was all an act 3 of us plot out together”
I can feel my blood froze and trembling with shock and sadness… that’s why it felt so real…
Ah Long continued on “For Duong, as long as a man can give her the attention she wants and have some money to spend on her, she would want that man until she is tired of him or he lost all his money. Do you think you really meant anything special to her?”
Those are similar words that Ah Ji has told me right after we were separated…
Em Yeu, although I have decided to trust your words and believe in your feelings towards me was real, it still overwhelm my heart with sourness whenever I think about the possibility that I meant nothing to you after all…
And then, I just woke up in tears…