08/07

While waiting for order from curry times, I stood here once again and look at our parking area

Em Yeu, do you know that during the time after I started parking at flash coffee away from everyone, this became one of my favorite spot to wait for orders?

Because this spot is the closest I can get to see you while not being spotted… this is where I can see you sitting on your bike, smoking and chatting with the rest while you wait for orders, without fear that you saw me…

Sometimes I do hate my own character… why do I always choose to be the sacrificing one, and suffer by myself and letting you misunderstood me…?

How should I react which is best for you? What should I say or not say to better protect you? What should I do or not do in order to help you attain your happiness?

Should I or should I not tell you the truth that everything you heard from your ‘Kor Kor’ was nothing but lies, and he is the one who lied to us, set us up and make us hurt each other in order to steal our money…?

I hate my helplessness towards you… on one hand, I wanted to do everything I can to care for you and the children… but on the other hand, I can’t give you what you wanted most…

Because we have met too late in our lives. Each of us has our own promises and responsibilities towards someone else even before we found each other…