It’s Father’s Day…
This morning I woke up with a heavy heart… Because it is Father’s Day today
Even the skies was crying as much as I am in my heart, when I think about losing you and the children…
During the time when I am by you and the children’s side, it would be a lie if I say I have never thought of becoming the father for the children…
You didn’t know how surprising but heart warming I felt, when I see the smile on the children and your faces for the 1st time they called me ‘Daddy’…
Do you still remember how sad I was after you just moved into the Bukit batok house, when both LinLin and Jayden didn’t like me sitting next to them or putting food on their plates? Do you still remember how I told you I was worried and scared that LinLin and Jayden won’t like me…?
But after the time we spent together in the Bukit batok home… after we ate lunch and dinner almost every single day with them… after we brought them to genting and to ice magic together… I really felt like a father. And I have really wished we can always stay that way…
But on this Father’s Day, I am not the one the children and you are celebrating with…
Because you have decided you no longer need me and move back to Chua Chu Kang and stay with their real biological father..
Em Yeu… when you decided to move back to Chua Chu Kang, my heart was shattered because of so many reasons all at the same time… it is so painful and unbearable even till today…
And one of these reasons is, I can never have the right to become the children’s father, as long as you choose to stay with the children’s biological father… you will never know how that feels…
It is so unfair… I have really loved and cared for you and the children as much as I can… but because you have believed in the lies of that thief, you misunderstood me, and couldn’t see the love I have towards you and the children…
How much I wish I can stay by you and the children’s side as a fatherly figure, take care of them and watch them grow up together with you…
*****
The rain only stopped around 1pm. By this time, I have already consoled myself, and decided not to brood over the sadness I have all morning and prepare to go out for orders.
The only way for me to move on, is to keep reminding myself, that nothing else matters, as long as you and the children are happy staying together with their biological father now.
So instead, I rather think about how you and the children are going to celebrate Father’s Day with Kenny. Although feeling sour at heart, at least I felt better knowing you and the children will feel safe and happy when you have a husband and a father for the children to depend on…
Guess Father’s Day is one exception that I will not go up to CCK to celebrate with you from afar…
*****
Another possibility that I have hoped for, is that you are in Vietnam with the children now, and celebrating Father’s day with your father.
I know how much you missed your parents, especially your father. Although you have often told me how strict he was, and how he has beaten you when you are naughty, I can see that your father is still the strongest pillar of support in your heart compared to your mother…
So Em Yeu, if you are in vietnam now, I sincerely wish for you to be happy with your father, mother, siblings or even your best friends today
Just out of curiosity, I have also googled what is the actual date of Father’s Day in Vietnam and to my surprise, I found different answers:
Some say it is today, the same as in Singapore
But for some Vietnamese website, it is supposed to be on 20th June, or even ‘the last Tuesday in June’
Maybe because vietnam is much bigger than Singapore, and different province in vietnam celebrate Father’s Day differently or on different days.
Em Yeu, what is the date you celebrate this day for your beloved Father? And I hope you are there in vietnam right now since it’s the school holidays, in the company and arms of your family, friends and hometown which you always missed…
Hope you will be able to share with me when is Father’s Day in Vietnam one day… even if I don’t have the right to be one for your children…