I’ll Gladly Bleed for You
No sight of you again today… I’m starting to feel a bit scared, so scared that I’ll get used to the disappointment of not being able to see you…
Finally see your Kor Kor coming to work today. But I didn’t want to talk to him. Till now I still couldn’t believe how can he lie to me, tell me all the bad things about u, making me misunderstood you and hurt u so much..
But while I was messaging Allan, this bastard suddenly came to me and asked me whether do you need bank statement for your bank loan, which I replied him:
“Yes of course she needs! We even paid an admin charge to print out her bank statement during her last application before the IPA was approved. And the lawyers also reminded us that the bank might need to see another updated Dec and Jan one before they finally pass the bank loan money to the lawyers. Why?”
I couldn’t believe my ears when he admitted that he no longer has your dec and Jan salary money as well!
I was so angry! How can he use your 2 months salary and Jan CPF money again?!? Just barely 2 weeks ago, he only told me he has used your Dec CPF money and landlord asked for early rental payment for the BB house. Just 2 weeks ago I have already borrowed the legal loan of total 4k in order to transfer him a 3.3k, where half is for your dec cpf, then transferred him another 1.3k for the BB house Feb rental!
When I question him why the hell he touch your salary and CPF money, he gave an excuse that his 20 years friend lost money during World Cup and he cannot abandon him. What kind of bullshit is that?!? Regardless of what reasons he have, as long as he didn’t ask you 1st before her touch the money, that is theft!!
But I can’t say anything to him. I can’t even show him my anger. If he feel threatened, he might just call off his help and your bank loan will be totally screwed. I need to hold it in,… I need to stay calm…
Omg, I can’t believe this asshole. Still talking as if he has the right to be angry when he has stolen the money for himself. He claimed that his friend will be able to return 7k, which I don’t even believe him at all. But you are the one who need the bank loan. You are the one who need the house. And we are only that little bit away from getting your own house, the very thing we have worked and fought for so hard for the past half year…
I’m not going to risk losing the house that we have fought so hard for. But I no longer have my savings as I have given it to Elsa and our divorce is still pending…
What can I do to secure this house for you, Em Yeu… is there anything, ANYTHING, I still can do…?
Wait, there might be something I still can do. And I will try…
*****
So I walked into another license money lender again today… but because I have already borrowed once this month, I have to walk into a few before I found one which is willing to let me borrow more than 7K…
Even if I’m going to suffer for the next half year by myself to pay off total of 15k loan, I want to see you get your bank loan and house. I want you to feel secured living in sg without fear that you don’t even have a roof under your name. I don’t want to see you scared of not having a place to stay with your children if anything happens between you and Kenny in future. The thing I want most, is your safety and happiness…
Even if I’m no longer someone you want in your life… but it doesn’t matter anymore. What matter is, I know I love you, Em Yeu…
Although I already know he is not going to return me any, I just hope ah ji has his last bit of conscience and send all to mookata as he promised
*****
Even after I have sent Ah Ji a total of 7.5k for him to send to mookata, I still cannot shake off the feeling of helplessness and anxiety about your salaries.
But I don’t have a choice. Because right now, the most important thing is your house. And the key is in that bastard’s hands…
After I came back from the money lender, I was still thinking about it when Allan asked me what’s wrong.
Haiz, I simply told Allan that I did it again – going to a money lender for your sake. At first Allan was angry as well, but after I explained to him, he also know that I had no other choice.
But he doesn’t trust Ah Ji at all. Because of what you told and showed him last Sat.
Allan told me that, Ah Ji has told you that he has checked with me whether your bank statement is needed for your loan, and I am the one who told him that bank statement not important, only need CPF?!?
That is a complete lie!!!
I have never told that bastard that your bank statement is not important. In fact I have asked him on the 13th Jan, when he asked me to borrow from money lender for your Dec CPF, that how about your dec salary. He was the one who told me you already received your dec salary on 7th jan while I am away in Dubai!
And yet now, I am the one who told him your salary and bank statement is not important?!? How much more this asshole has set me up and make me the scumbag in front of you?
So today, if something happens to your bank loan and house, it is not his fault but all mine?!? He is doing exactly the same thing as Ah Long’s case, where he is the one who told ah long about us and ah long harassed you, but he pushed the blame to me to make you think that I am the one spreading the story when he is the only person that I has told!
And don’t forget girl, he also told me that you are the one telling everyone about our quarrel, and how she say I have done more wrong to you compared to what you have done to me. He is pushing the blame onto each of us in front of the other for the bullshit he has done…
Other than that, Allan also told me that you have showed him screenshots of how I have scolded you and Kenny in my messages to Ah Ji, especially the ones in Chinese which I sent to CB Liao on messenger.
My anger is rising again
Em Yeu, you didn’t know what that bastard has said to me on that day he showed me ‘proof’ that you admitted CB Liao is Kenny. You didn’t know how much this asshole has badmouthed you for making use of me to make Kenny jealous, treat me for an ATM, and run away the moment I lost my savings and house.
You didn’t know how much he claimed that YOU are the liar from the 1st day you told me about your failed marriage. So much that even he is so angry that he is not going to look upon you as a sister anymore…
And I was so stupid to fall for his lies and scolded you in front of him, for him to use to lie to you that how much I have wrongly accused and hate you
Even so, now my priority is your house, your marriage and you & the children’s happiness…
Em Yeu, should one day you realized how much I have given up for your sake, how much suffering I am willing to go through for your sake, how much I loved you, please don’t blame yourself for misunderstanding me…
It’s okie, cause like how you have made your choice to move back to Kenny’s side, I have also made mine. No one is to blame, as we can only make decision based on what we know.
And I don’t blame you now for throwing me away…
*****
Met with an accident again tonight. This time a car has hit me from behind. Luckily my back rack took most of the impact and flew off while I fell.. but my cake order was trashed
While I pull my bike off the road, the 1st thing that came to my mind was why is fate doing this to me – I gave up my marriage but lost my love, lost my trust in people and lost my money, and now, am I supposed to lose my life now…?
Maybe I should. In that way, I no longer need to go thru all these hurt and pain…
I cried by the roadside as your face filled my mind again…