Mailbox Is still Empty…

Opened my mailbox again for the 8th thousandth time. Em Yeu, your atm card still hasn’t arrived yet…

At this moment, I really felt alone… I really felt like the whole world is against me… I couldn’t understand why it seems like everyone is stopping me from loving you…

All I wanted to do, is to leave that last bit of my love for you and the children… all I wanted to do, is to do the last thing I can do to protect you and the children’s future…

Even if I know you may never need it or use it…

Even if I know you may think I’m trying to lie to you or cheat you into returning to my side

Even if I know, that whatever I’m doing may end up making you hate me or misunderstood me even more

But I still want to do it. As long as there is a small chance it may really help or protect you or the children one day…

Because it is the only thing I can do for you and the children…

Em Yeu, I know you hate me so much that you rather cut yourself off from everyone who is related to me. I know you regret the time we spent together so much that you would rather throw away everything that will remind you of me…

I know you misunderstood me so much, that you want to blame me for every hurt that you have suffered, regardless it is really my fault or not…

But I only know 1 thing, and that is I believe in you and everything you have ever told me. About Kenny, about your divorce, about your suffering, about your fears…

So no matter how you throw me or our memories together away, I won’t throw you and our memories together away…

Let me be the one to continue remembering all the time we spent together. Let me be the one waiting. Let me be the one to miss you and our time together…

I’ll gladly do that and suffer the pain of losing you again and again, if it is what I takes to love you…