Will Em Yeu remember my Bdae…?
It’s Good Friday, so Elsa is on off today. For the past week, Elsa has been wanting me to take a day’s off from work so that she can celebrate my birthday with me.
And I chose today for her… because I want to save the actual day for you, Em Yeu…
Cause I want to believe I’m still somewhere in your heart… I still want to believe that no matter how angry you are or how much you misunderstood me, somewhere deep inside you, you still want to celebrate my birthday or simply wish me a Happy Birthday…
And when you do, I will let you know the whole truth, and I will be right here waiting for you
I will let you know that I have not gone back on any of my promises to you. I will let you know that there is a man in your life that really loves you and will not throw you no matter what happens
I will let you know how much I love you… how much I missed you… how much I want to stay by your side, regardless of what has happened between us…
I will hug u so tightly and not let you go again…
*****
So we went over to my mother’s place for a simple lunch in the morning. It has been a long time since I last ate at my mother’s place, as I have been working day and night every single day for the past few months cause of the loans.
After lunch, Elsa still took her afternoon nap 1st, while I continue to think about you, and whether you would at least just send me 1 happy birthday message…
By the time Elsa woke up, it is already after 4pm, so we end up just going down to City Gate Mall, a new shopping center further up from bugis, and settled down for some Chinese grilled food.
After the simple dinner, we slowly stroll down Arab street, and reached bugis junction, where we had some dessert at Smile Dessert.
It’s actually not bad for a dessert shop. They have kids rubber ball play area on the 2nd floor, think Jayden and LinLin will like it there…
Frankly speaking, I felt so guilty towards Elsa… She has noticed that I have been deep in thoughts throughout the whole day, even when she is by my side.
And I couldn’t bear to tell her the truth that I am thinking about you and the kids, or I’m waiting to hear from you and missed you so much…
It is already April, and she has not signed and submitted our divorce papers yet. She has also stopped asking about you, and whether I have changed my mind and can promise her to throw you… perhaps somehow deep down inside her, she already knew that there is no point in her asking, as I have already repeatedly rejected the chance she gave me
So for the time being, until the day you come back to my side, I’m going to just continue the way it is now and focus on earning as much money as I can, to prepare for the day she decided to sign the papers, as well as to save up to clear my debts and for the savings account I am going to have for you and the children
It has been such a long time since I went shopping, and there is so many clothes and shoes etc that I saw which I think would look good on you…
Your face just filled my mind the whole day today as Elsa dragged me from shop to shop…
Not going shopping with you, and buying you more clothes, shoes etc, is one of the biggest regret I’ll ever have…
Sorrie Em Yeu, you didn’t know how much I regretted not coming to bugis with you to shop for your bra and panties that Saturday…
If I ever have the chance again, I’ll never hide my love for you, or my desire to spend time with you in front of anyone else ever again. Not even in front of Elsa…
I love you Em Yeu. And that is a fact no matter what the rest of the world say or judge me for…