*****
Frankly speaking, ever since I realized what that bastard has done to us, how he has lied to us for money, keeping quiet about the truth has been the biggest torture for me… so much that I felt like I’m about to go crazy every single day
It is so unfair! I felt so wronged! I have done everything I could, everything I can think of to care for you and the children, to protect you, and to love you…
But right now, it ended up as I’m the biggest liar and scumbag to you just because of what that asshole did and pushed the blame on me in front of you…
Em Yeu, you didn’t know how much I wanted to tell you that I did not lie to you or thrown you away… you didn’t know how much I wanted to let you know that I love you so much that I am willing to give up my marriage just to keep my promises to you and stay by your side every single day…
Especially whenever I see you treating me like a stranger now…
You didn’t know how much I missed you, and wanted to cry it out and hug you so tightly I would never let go again…
But I can’t. Not now. For you and your house’s safety. So I have to bear with it as much as I can by myself…
Especially now since you moved back to CCK, your safety and relationship between you and Kenny is the most important thing to me now.
So I have been thinking hard for the past week, on what can I do to record down everything that happened which you didn’t know, what is the truth and lies I have discovered and the evidences I have uncovered, if you want to know the truth one day…
Too many words I wanted to tell you, but now is not the time yet, as you have not secured your bank loan and house. As long as one day your bank loan and house is not safe yet, I cannot tell you the truth, in case that bastard noticed and threaten your house again…
And most importantly, you have moved back to CCK for reasons that came out of that asshole’s mouth I no longer believe
Did you move back to CCK because you thought I have thrown you away? Because you felt lonely and stressful to face the upcoming life without me…?
I won’t know, as you are still blocking me in every way possible to cut me out of your life… I have to be careful with every step I take, and how I handle anything related to you, in order not to create any quarrel or trouble between you and Kenny… and especially that bastard
I even have to asked everyone who now know what that bastard did to us a secret in front of you, so I don’t want you to know what I have done and suffered for your sake…
Because I don’t want you to feel guilty or sad towards me, like how I felt when I realized I have misunderstood you…
So at first I was thinking of emailing you. But it is not safe, as I don’t know whether Kenny checks your email or not… then another idea using voice recordings came up, but it is difficult to show you the evidence or screenshot conversations between me and that asshole using audio recordings… Through someone else? No, it was precisely we have trusted the wrong person which led to the Ah Long case that caused you to suffer…
Then, finally the idea of creating a blog came to me.
Em Yeu, this shall be another birthday present from me – a blog exclusively just for you…
This blog will be where I can tell you everything that I couldn’t say since we are separated…
This blog will be where I can show you the truth one day…
This blog will be where I will record down every moments where I miss you…
This blog will be the proof, of how much you meant to me and how I am going to continue loving you, for the rest of my life…
This blog will be the real me, Em Yeu…